We are all going to die. And someone will have to handle what we leave behind. Odds are good that person will be someone who loved us, someone who will be grieving. Let’s not make it harder for them than it has to be. Let’s make some key decisions now in order to be kinder to those we’ll leave behind. What kind of decisions? Welcome to Dying Kindness, the podcast for people who are going to die someday. Host Cianna Stewart is learning about death and dying, and sharing information and tips along the way. Episodes include practical information, philosophical musings, interviews, and a dose of morbid humor. Because we’re all going die someday and we should learn how to talk about it.
Episodes
Tuesday Apr 05, 2022
20: What Goes Into A Living Will?
Tuesday Apr 05, 2022
Tuesday Apr 05, 2022
A discussion of the kinds of things that you could (and should) include in your living will, including examples that Cianna wrote into her own.
Topics: Living Will, Advance Directive
Mentioned:
Tuesday Mar 22, 2022
19: Which Forms? When? Living Will, DNR, POLST, Advance Directive
Tuesday Mar 22, 2022
Tuesday Mar 22, 2022
Living Will. DNR. Advance Directive. POLST.
You know these forms are important. But are they the same? Do you need all of them? What are they for? And when would you need them?
Forms are location specific. Do an online search for "[where you live] and [name of form]" or ask your lawyer to get the right version for you.
Recap of summary:
- Everyone over the age of 18 should specify their wishes and designate a health care proxy, ideally with an Advance Directive or Living Will and Medical Power of Attorney
- If you’re close to the end of life or frail and the risk of complications from resuscitation would not be worth it, that’s when you want a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order
- If you’re close to the end of life and don’t want to artificially extend your life and you want to be sure that your wishes are honored (and it’s available in your area), get a Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment (POLST)
Tuesday Mar 01, 2022
18: Choosing Who Will Defend Your Wishes
Tuesday Mar 01, 2022
Tuesday Mar 01, 2022
Selecting the right Health Care Agent is a critical factor in ensuring that we get the kind of care we want when we're critically injured or nearing the end of our lives. Your agent will be responsible for implementing your Advance Healthcare Directive, and (even more) for understanding why you made the decisions you made so they can respond to unanticipated situations. How do you choose the right person? What, exactly, would you be asking them to do?
Referenced:
Review of studies on racial bias in pain perception in NCBI:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17187552/
Wednesday Feb 23, 2022
17: On Wanting To Do What We Love As Long As Possible
Wednesday Feb 23, 2022
Wednesday Feb 23, 2022
Thinking about dying has me thinking about aging. And as I took my aging body on a hike, I decided maybe it's time to get used to using hiking poles—and this had me thinking about what we can do now so that we can keep what we love doing for longer.
Tuesday Feb 15, 2022
16:Your Final Resting Place
Tuesday Feb 15, 2022
Tuesday Feb 15, 2022
Do you want to be buried near your parents? Want your children to scatter your ashes at your favorite beach? Would your family visit your memorial tree in a forest?
What kinds of things do you need to take into consideration when you're choosing your final resting place?
Bonus in this episode: An interview with Mike Szymanski, creator of the #DoxieTombstone in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
15: Final Disposition of Your Body
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
Tuesday Feb 01, 2022
Burial or Cremation? That question is important, yes, and it's not the only thing that needs to be decided about what will happen with your body after you die. This episode covers some of the practical decisions that need to be made regarding final disposition.
Tuesday Jan 18, 2022
14: Getting The Conversation Started
Tuesday Jan 18, 2022
Tuesday Jan 18, 2022
Sure, it's important to talk about death and what we want. But how do you even begin this conversation? What if you're ready to talk but someone else is resistant? And what do we even need to talk about?
In this episode I interview Kate deBartolo from The Conversation Project, and Lisa Pahl and Lori LoCicero from The Death Deck. They share tools and personal stories that can help you get the conversation started, regardless of how comfortable (or uncomfortable) you and your loved ones are with the topic.
https://theconversationproject.org/
https://www.instagram.com/thedeathdeck/
Tuesday Jan 04, 2022
13: What’s in a Death Binder?
Tuesday Jan 04, 2022
Tuesday Jan 04, 2022
Just what kinds of things would be useful to the people we'll leave behind when we die? What decisions need to be made? What goes into a "Death Binder"?
Thursday Dec 23, 2021
12: Lessons for Living and Dying Well
Thursday Dec 23, 2021
Thursday Dec 23, 2021
Presenting three books with good lessons learned from the dying on how to live (and die) well:
- The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - Bronnie Ware
- The Four Things That Matter Most - Ira Byock
- When Breath Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi
Related links:
Bronnie Ware’s blog post that started it all:
https://bronnieware.com/blog/regrets-of-the-dying/
Link to Ira Byock's book page:
https://irabyock.org/books/the-four-things-that-matter-most/
Lucy Kalanithi speaks at TEDMED
https://www.ted.com/talks/lucy_kalanithi_what_makes_life_worth_living_in_the_face_of_death
Tuesday Dec 07, 2021
11: From Death Phobic to Death Doula
Tuesday Dec 07, 2021
Tuesday Dec 07, 2021
Karen Reppen describes herself as being once "the most death phobic person on the planet." Now she's on the board of the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) and an advocate for death education. In this interview, she shares what she learned on her journey to overcome her fear of death, what an end-of-life doula does, and thoughts on NEDA's role in the death positivity movement.